When my kids were little, I was living what looked like an amazing life.

My husband traveled often for work, so I was home full-time with our children.

My oldest went to preschool three days a week, and I spent my days with my youngest.

𝐎𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭—𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐬, 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝, 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞.

𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠.

💭 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨.

👵 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐦𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 & 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐩 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐲, "𝐄𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞! 𝐈𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐟𝐚𝐬𝐭!"

💔 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐡𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝. 𝐈 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭.

𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐈 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐫, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝:

💭 What if I just drove into the water?

It was a split second. Just a blip. But it terrified me because I had never had a thought like that before.

I drove straight home, sat my husband down, and told him what had happened.

That I didn’t feel like me.

That I didn’t know who I even was anymore.

That I wasn’t enjoying my children—I was just surviving them.

And when I did get time to myself, I didn’t even know what to do with it. I would drive to Stop & Shop and just sit in the car, unsure of where else to go.

That night, we made a decision:

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I would go to a yoga class on Thursday evenings.

🚫 No errands.

🚫 No obligations.

✅ Just me, moving my body, getting out of the house.

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At first, it was simply a reason to leave. A lifeline. But over time, something shifted.

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✨ I started reconnecting with myself—my body, my breath, my thoughts, and eventually, my joy.

A few months in, I remember sitting on the kitchen floor, playing with my daughter while my son was at preschool, dishes piled up in the sink.

And for the first time in a long time, I was just there.

Not worrying about the mess.

Not feeling like I was failing.

Just being.

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When I caught myself in a thought—"You are a terrible mother," instead of believing it, I knew it was wrong.

That awful moment by the reservoir led to a hard but necessary conversation. And that conversation led me to care for myself.

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𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞:

🌿 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐨.

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I'm curious, 𝐻𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 ℎ𝑎𝑑 𝑎 𝑚𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑤ℎ𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑧𝑒𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛’𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒?

𝑊ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜?​
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Feel free to reply to this question (I respond to all my emails) or simply let this email percolate, simmer, settle :).
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I hope you have a wonderful week and choose you at least a few times this week :).
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Here is to choosing you,

Coach Julie